Adopting from the fostercare system!

I haven't updated this blog in a long time but I just read something that touched my heart. This is a blog post about adopting from the foster care system. It is so well said, I really can't add anything, except please take a moment to read it.
http://blessedby10.blogspot.com/
The road God has for each of us to walk is filled with ups and downs, without them we may not learn to lean fully on Him. I think that is what God is teaching me lately, to lean fully on Him. He is sufficient to meet all my needs. This may sound trite, but believe me, it is a lesson I am glad I am learning! These kids have always had a place in my heart. I wonder if I would really have what it takes to lay down my own life, my pride, my whatever and follow Jesus down this road. To lean fully on Him, no matter where He leads. Older child adoption is different than what we have been called to so far...but not out of the question.

Finnally Forever!

The best day of 2009!

Joseph's adoption day!

It was so great to finally sign the papers that made Joseph a legal member of our family. He has, of course, been a part of our family in our hearts since he was placed with us! What a great day! We had brunch at the Tower Cafe(Where we have eaten to celebrate every adoption!), and then headed off to the courthouse. Brian and I signed papers, we took pictures and whoo-hoo, Joseph is ours FOREVER!

Joseph's Adoption Hearing!

Praise God!!

We have adoption hearing date for Joseph! Although there has been no reason to believe his adoption wouldn't go through, it is always such a relief to finalize the adoption. We all love Joseph so much, and are so glad to finally be his forever family! It is times like these when the goodness of God is simply unquestionable!

Joseph and the CA Budget Crisis!

Joseph fell asleep in his high chair tonight while we were all eating dinner! I guess cantaloupe and chicken just isn't exciting enough for him!


Although Joseph's adoption is moving along as expected, there have been some curves in the road! We requested a new adoption worker for him after a less than professional experience with the worker he had been assigned. I met with her supervisor; she was very kind, and I felt that she really listened to what I had to say. She said she would assign a new worker after his hearing to terminate his birth parents parental rights(which was at the end of last month). His original worker represented him at the hearing, and the court decided to terminate parental rights, as well as, grant us the power to make educational decisions for Joseph prior to the adoption finalization. This seemed strange at first given he was only 10 months old at the time of the hearing, but I think it has more to do with requesting resources and services for him if the need arises. (He has a follow-up developmental assessment in August.) So, everything was moving along. However, due to the California budget crisis, 1/3 of all the staff in adoptions will be laid off or reassigned. This means that he will be assigned a new adoption worker at some point, but we don't know when. Until that time the supervisor has taken on his case, which I am happy with. She is very pleasant to work with. Unfortunately, our homestudy worker is being reassigned to another dept., so we will be assigned a new one. I am very sad about this because our homestudy worker has been very supportive throughout our whole process, and we will miss her! All homestudies are now on hold while the department re-organizes. Luckily, our homestudy was finished prior to placement! I asked if this would affect our finalization time frame, and nobody knows for sure. I would think that the county would want to get the adoptions that are close to finalization finished and off the case load, but this is the government...so who knows! God has all of this under control!

Reece's Rainbow

"Once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act" Proverbs 24:12

I read this Bible verse for the first time about a month ago(At least I don't remember reading it before!). I cannot get it out of my head. I don't want to be held accountable to act because of the things I know. I want to be able to pretend things are fine, and people aren't hurting. I think this verse also buts up against the apathy that seems to be my natural tendency. It is easier to close my eyes to the hardships around me than it is to respond with action. But God is so good about calling us to look beyond ourselves and our comfort and see what He sees. I've been reading James for my quiet time in the morning, and I am reminded that my faith is worthless without action. (This would be a good time to listen to Screen Door by Rich Mullins on the playlist to your left!) So, I guess my plan is to try to see the opportunities God puts before me and pray about the action I should take in response to what I see. Easier said than done, I know!

Here is an example of God touching my heart and the action I have chosen. I recently read a blog with a link to Reece's Rainbow: http://www.reecesrainbow.org/ . This is an organization that aids the international adoption of children with Down Syndrome. They have also begun to help kids with other special needs from around the world find forever families. I don't really know a lot about Reece's Rainbow, so if your heart leans towards these beautiful kids, please do your research! However, as I read over the profiles of the kids who are waiting, and looked at their pictures...I was humbled. God loves these kids and I do believe that His heart is that each child would grow up with loving parents and a family. I have to think that special needs kids have special families waiting for them. So, even though my heart was deeply touched by these kids, another adoption is not in our near future(other than Joseph's finalization, of course!) However, I do want to share these kids and Reece's Rainbow with other people, so naturally it is on my blog. I hope if you read this, you will take the time to check out their website. Who knows, maybe God will break your heart for these kids also!

AIDS in my Region!

How do you find information on a subject that nobody want to talk about? Add to that laws that are in place to protect people from discrimination(which are good, by the way), and you come up with almost nothing. I have been hearing about the AIDS pandemic and my heart is broken. As a family we are praying for the children and families affected, and what our response will be. I also began to wonder how AIDS is affecting my own region, and whether there are kids in the foster care system with AIDS that are available for adoption. I am not seeking profiles of specific children, I am just wondering if they exist. My research has led to dead ends, and statistics about HIV/AIDS being on the rise here where I live. There must be a need Christians to make a difference here also, but where and with who?

My conclusion, we as a people are still extremely uncomfortable with acknowledging the presence of HIV/AIDS in our own communities. This is sad, I thought we were moving past this. It must be easier at some level to accept the global pandemic as occurring far from home, and the majority of cases are, but there are still people here in the communities in which we already live who are struggling with the reality of AIDS in their own lives.

I want to think and act both globally and locally!

Adoption Update(Finally)!!

Our computer crashed a couple of weeks ago, so I haven't been able to update the blog. So, here is the latest update on the adoption of Baby J. His court hearing was continued until the 26th of this month because not all the paperwork was completed by his social worker in time for the hearing. Now I realize these are very over-worked and underpaid people, but when my sons permanency is put on hold because someone simply didn't do their job...that really drives me crazy! I am thankful that the hearing was continued relatively soon, only a couple of weeks. Please pray that the next hearing will actually be heard, and progress can be made!

Adoption and Reunification

It has been a while since I have blogged specifically about adoption. I think in my regular, day-to-day life I forget that we are in the process of adopting Baby J. I feel that he is already mine, and maybe I prefer to think of him that way, instead of in process. However, his birth mom has a hearing next week that should decide whether or not to continue offering her reunification services. As this date approaches, I am divided. Of course my heart is hoping for her services to be terminated and for us to be one step closer to officially adopting Baby J. But, there is the side of me that understands the weight of each hearing, and the loss involved both for Baby J. and his birth mom. I continue to pray for each of my kids' birth parents, and I truly hope for the best for each of them. I know the best thing for any of them is that they would meet and fall in love with Jesus. That is my main prayer for them! So, today as I think about adoption, I am hesitantly excited, anxiously hopeful, and obediently prayerful. Does that make sense?

My son...the orphan!

My son is an orphan. That seems like an almost impossible statement, but it is true. In the past, when I have thought about orphans they have lived on the other side of the world, not in my own home. However, our newest son(what we consider him) is technically an orphan. I have never really considered my own kids orphans. Even during the time before they officially joined our family. I guess it is because I feel that God has always planned for them to be part of my family, and they haven't had to wait long. However, that doesn't change the fact that until our adoption finalizes(hopefully later in 2009) he is an orphan. As I look at him, I am so thankful that God has brought him home to us, but my heart breaks for the kids still waiting!

No, I will not abandon you as orphans—I will come to you. John 14:18

It is funny how sometimes God speaks to you through a verse in a new and exciting way, even though you have read it many times before. This happened to me with this verse recently. I have been thinking about what it might feel like to be left as an orphan. How alone, desperate, helpless and hopeless that feeling must be. Add to that being sick, deathly sick, and hungry. It is almost unbearable for me to even let my thoughts wander to that place. Yet, that is the reality for so many of the worlds orphans. How fortunate I am not to have to live the life of an orphan. In the true physical sense, or in a spiritual sense. How good God is! His promise to us is real. I will not abandon you as orphans. THANK YOU JESUS!! How can I be Jesus to these kids...show them they will not be abandoned any longer as orphans...bring Jesus to them? (Obviously this does not include me adopting all of them, so I need to pray about otherways to be involved!)

Risk?

So, earlier this week I was talking with someone about the baby, and I mentioned he is the riskiest placement of all our kids. After I said this, it didn't sit well in my spirit. In fact, I haven't been able to get it off my mind. I understand that according to the view of the world, this is a riskier placement than our other children we have adopted. But my perspective is not supposed to be that OF THE WORLD! We (my husband and I) prayed a lot before pursuing an adoption of our fifth child, and we have sought God's leading every step of the way. I feel confident that God is leading us down this road of adoption. That being said, I know He is with us on our journey. So, does God leading you down a particular path guarantee it will be easy or go the way you want it to go? I don't think that is what the Bible says. It is wrong to assume that because God is in your life, or leading you in a particular direction that everything will be perfect, and turn out the way you expect it to. I think we should be praying for the situations in our life to go according to God's plan. Sometimes that will be a hard road for us to walk, but He promises to walk with us, to carry our burdens and to comfort us. I do want the baby to be our son forever, but if that isn't God's will I know He will be with us through our grief(I do not take this lightly). None of us are guaranteed another day with our children, we need to hold them with an open hand, knowing the true hands that hold them are our heavenly fathers'. I know God loves our baby and has the best plan for him in mind. I am praying that I get to be part of that plan for a long time. So, is it risky to walk in faith and do what you believe God is calling you to do even though it may not turn out the way you would prefer? I don't think so. It sounds like a cliche', but I do think it would be riskier to choose to ignore God's leading and go my own way. Maybe it isn't a question of risk, but of obedience. Am I willing to walk in obedience even the road may hold heartbreak? I pray that my answer will always be YES!


All of that being said, I feel that I must make it clear why we have chosen not to share our newest sons name on the blog yet. We have decided to wait until his court date that will terminate the services being offered to his birth mother. It is at this point that his permanency plan will be adoption, and we will begin to move forward with our part of the process. So, until then, we will keep you guessing!

He's Home!

It has been such a busy, crazy, chaotic week! We met the baby on Wednesday, and brought him home on Friday. He is such a wonderful baby, and I feel so blessed that God would have him be my son.
The other kids were so excited to see him, that when we got home they were almost unable to contain themselves. It is fun to watch the kids welcome him so quickly and completely into our home and family. Elise had to give him his first bottle, and the little ones keep asking to hold him. We will be working to set boundaries for the babies safety and sanity! Tonight Aidan picked the place on the couch next to where the baby was sleeping. It was sweet to see him talk to the baby and give him a pacifier when he started fussing. I am so happy there hasn't been any jealousy, so far, only total excitement!
Soon, I will post some pictures and write more about how God is continuing to amaze me! Now, however, I am tired and will be headed to bed for some sleep(at least until bottle time)!

It's a Boy!!

So, we said YES! We will have a one hour visit with the baby on Wednesday, and if everything goes well we will bring him home on Friday!! It is hard to wait so long to meet him, but our social workers are out of the office until then! I gotta go... there's so much to get done before he comes home!!

We Got A Call!!

Yeah! Today, we got a call about a little boy to consider for placement. He was born in mid August, which makes him almost three months old! We are so excited! We will meet with his placement worker and our home study worker for what is called a disclosure meeting. At this time all known information about him and his birth parents will be disclosed to us. Then, we will make a final decision about whether or not to accept placement.
God is so funny! I got the call in the middle of my fasting and prayer time, which can only be a God thing. However, we still need prayer in the decision making process. We don't want to enter into parenting any child lightly, but instead we want to go forward in prayer with God's leading! I know what my heart says, but I want to hear God's voice and obey him in all things. If this is the child He has for us, please pray we will know it, and if he isn't, that we would know that too!
This is also exciting because it is less than a month since our home study was approved. I am so impatient, but God is always gracious to me!
I'll Keep you posted!

Pastor Straton and Fasting!

After reading "Red Letters" by Tom Davis, I have been thinking about the suggestion made in the book to fast and pray for those suffering from AIDS. I have been thinking about it, but I haven't really done anything. Today, I picked up the book and as I was thumbing through it came across the section on fasting again. I was convicted about my lack of motivation to pray! Then, I came across this video. I hope you will take the time to watch it. I found it encouraging. I will fast and pray, once a week until I feel God lead me to do otherwise. Mondays will be my regular day for this, but I feel led to commit tomorrow to the Lord! I also want to find out what is going on in my area for those affected with AIDS. I don't hear about it in the news anymore, but I know that people and families are still affected. Is there something local I can do to help those here in my community? I will do some research and see what I come up with!

Please turn off the music before watching the video!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0SUJOcRU-_w

In the video, Pastor Straton talks about the kids who are left not only orphaned, but also HIV+. This is heart breaking, to say the least. The doors are opening for some of these kids to be adopted, and brought here to the US. Please consider this for your own family, or you can help fund the adoption of an HIV+ child into another loving, forever family. At least, pray about how God might use you, and let Him surprise you with the answer!!

Trans Racial Adoption Support Group!

Last night our family attended a trans racial adoption support group. The subject of the meeting was "How to Navigate the African American Community as a Non-African American Family". This was our first time at this group. It was a very interesting time! It is always fun to be in such a diverse group of people, who all share a passion for kids and adoption, particularly trans racial adoption. We discussed our experiences as multi ethnic families, and discussed ways to help our kids create genuine relationships with people who share their racial heritage. Many topics were discussed including: school choice(diversity and academics as key points), mentoring opportunities(black fraternities and sororities as resources), social groups, travel, and local events(BlackEXPO, etc.) Many of the things we discussed were part of our foster parent training and other workshops and classes we have taken. However, one thing that I had never given much thought to are the black colleges. Living in California we do not have any black colleges. However, there are tours for highschool students that will take them to visit several black colleges when they are ready for that. It is something I know nothing about, but plan on looking into before my kids are ready for that. Since the kids are only 2 and 4, I have a little time. I also realized how great it is to live in a diverse neighborhood with excellent schools nearby. Many in the group had to leave their neighborhoods to find diversity.

One thing that stood out for me during the conversations was that I really do enjoy being with people who are nothing like me. It is good to hear another perspective, even if we don't agree or see things the same way! I feel enriched as a person when I spend time in dialogue with people who are open, genuine and passionate about their kids!

Fall Family Fair

Yesterday, my husband and I went to the Fall Family Fair. It is a cooperative effort of local county agencies and the State Department of Children's Services to match families with children waiting to be adopted from foster care. There are no children present, but social workers bring profiles of available kids/sibling groups for prospective adoptive parents to look at. We were there mainly because our social worker wanted to introduce us to two other workers in our county. One is the placement coordinator and the other is the concurrent placement worker(places many infants who are concurrently in adoptions and reunification services until court hearings decide their status). It was a blessing to be introduced to these women right after our home study was completed, and now maybe I can begin to see God's timing in things. These are the women, along with our social worker, who will decide which child to present to us. What an awesome responsibility they hold in their jobs: creating and building families!!
While we were at the fair, my husband picked up a stack of profiles to read. It was at this moment that I realized how mixed my feelings were about being at the fair. I didn't want to see the faces of these adorable kids. Once you see their profiles, look at their pictures and read their stories, they are no longer just a statistic. They become real kids-orphans- living without any sense of permanency or a forever family. I know it doesn't do any good to close my eyes to the reality that is before me, so I read some profiles and my heart was broken for these kids again. Last night I prayed for the kids I saw, the faces that are sticking in my mind even now as I write this blog. I know that prayer is the best gift I can give these kids right now, but my heart longs to do more.
After much prayer, we don't feel that God is leading us to an older child adoption right now. Sibling groups in foster care and waiting to be adopted still tug at our hearts. We were both really close with our own siblings and see how close our own kids are to each other. Our hearts still lean toward foster care in the future. Only God knows what He has in store for our family! I look forward to this journey-with God leading the way!

Adoption Process Update!

Some trust in chariots and some in horses,

but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.

Psalm 20:7

I memorized this verse about a year ago for a Bible study I was doing. At the time, it seemed like a strange verse to commit to memory, but since the whole group was doing it, I did too. God is so funny, he knew a year ago that today I would be so encouraged by this verse. He knew that I needed this written on my heart so that He could remind me of it when I was feeling discouraged earlier this morning. (If you don't memorize scripture, I would like to encourage you to give it a try!) I was feeling a little frustrated after speaking with our home study worker. Our home study was originally supposed to done six weeks ago. It has been put on hold as our worker has had other, more pressing, things come up. I posted earlier that I know God is bigger than the system and paperwork will not stop His perfect timing. But this morning I was discouraged. It sometimes seems as though my family is in the hands of very well meaning social workers, who are under paid and severely overworked. However, as this was my train of thought, God brought Psalm 20:7 to mind. He revealed to me a different meaning of the verse than I had originally thought. It says some trust in horses and chariots. These are a means to an end, a way of getting somewhere. God reminded me that the county is like the horses and chariots in the verse. It is simply a means to get where He is taking me and our family. I am not to mistakenly put my trust in the vehicle, but keep my eyes, my hope and trust where it belongs, with Him!

So, the good news is that our home study will be done in time for us to attend a local family fair next Thursday. This is an opportunity for child placement workers in our region to showcase children waiting for adoption, and connect with potential adoptive families. This is a really emotional event for me(we've been to two in the past) because the children break my heart. Most of the children are older, which isn't what we see working with our family right now. We plan on keeping the birth sequence of our kids, unless God leads us to do otherwise.

So, things are progressing! Our home study is almost done! And, most importantly, my trust is back where it belongs...In God!

Transitional Housing Outreach!

So, a couple of Sundays ago, I find myself at church alone. (This is HUGE, given I tend to be shy in large groups!) It was ministry fair weekend, which means all the various ministies available at church have a table so people can get to know them and find a place to connect or serve. During the worship time I was thinking about how I would love to find a place to serve where all my passions can come under one roof, so to speak. Just then the name of a local transitional housing facility in our area came to mind. I knew our church partnered with them in some way, but I was not really sure how. So, after the service I went looking to see if they had a ministry table, and of course, they did. God is so good, and speaks so clear sometimes!! As I approached the table the woman who introduced herself to me was wearing a "Ask me about Serna Village" T-shirt. We talked and she explained the monthly outreach, and I knew it was a God Thing that I had come to church (even though Brian couldn't) and not missed the ministry fair!

Once a month, a small group of people go to Serna Village to build relationships with and serve the residents in the name of Jesus. This happens as a meal is shared, and friendships are made. Games and crafts are done with the kids while the adults do other activities. It is an awesome opportunity to serve people who need to hear how much God loves them!! The people who live at Serna Village are transitioning out of homeless and/or drug and alcohol addiction. Many of the kids have been in foster care, and are now in reunification with their birth parents. In case you aren't sure what to think of this, IT IS AWESOME!! This is a crucial time in the lives of these families and, as the body of Christ, we need to step up, love them, serve them, support them and point them to Jesus!

I decided to take Elise with me the first time, since Brian and Aidan needed to be elsewhere. We showed up not really knowing what to expect, but ready to serve wherever the need was. We ended up working with the kids on crafts. It was such a great time! The kids are just great, and it was nice to be able to share with them while working on creative projects. Elise was so much help, and had a great attitude the whole time, even picking up garbage and cleaning up afterwards. We plan to go back and continue to serve as a family.

Now, as I pray, I have specific faces and names to lift up. One girl in particular broke my heart, not only for her, but for her mother. As we were making picture frames she told me one of the frames she was painting was for her mom to put a picture of her kids that have been adopted. She told me she her mom had a couple of kids younger than herself that were adopted. I told her that her mom would love it, and it would be very special to her. Even though I wanted too, I didn't cry!! I have two kids adopted out of the foster care system here locally. I really have a passion for these families. I know the best place for these kids is with their birth families, if they are able to pull themselves together and adequately parent their kids. My heart is with these mothers, and I want to support them and pray for them and their kids as they are reuniting and taking on the responsibility of parenting. I also understand from the adoptive parent side that kids are the biggest blessings in your life, whether born to you biologically or adopted. I pray for the birth families of my children regularly. I know God wants them as His own children. I hope someone will see beyond their "stuff" and love them to Jesus.

I know that the time spent at Serna Village is well spent. It is time spent loving families and kids and parents in Jesus' name. I can't wait to go back!

Camille's Adoption Day!!

Today is Camille's Adoption Day!! In our family we celebrate the anniversary of each child's legal adoption as a family day. We are so blessed to have each of the kids, and Adoption Day reminds myself and them that God is good and has put us together as a family. Each of us being vitally important to the whole, with a special emphasis on the one whose adoption we are celebrating. It is like the anniversary of our wedding, we are remembering one of the most important days in our lives!!



So, here is Camille! She is two and a half, very articulate and full of spunk. When I think about adoption, I tend to think about what it means to me personally as a mom and parent. However, today while the kids were eating popsicles and swimming, I was thinking about adoption as it relates to siblings. One thing that I am confident of is that if God is calling you to something, He is calling your whole family if you are married and have kids. I knew I wanted to love, adore, play with and parent more kids. I also knew that adoption was the path God was calling us as parents to walk down. As we prayed about the decision to adopt, we (Brian and I) were convinced that if we were meant to be parents again, then Aidan, Elise and Isaac were meant to be siblings again. As I look at Camille, it is hard to imagine our life without her. I am so thankful for her, that God found us to be the right family for her and that her birth mother made the hard choice to carry her to term. She is an amazing little girl and our whole family, each of us as individuals, are better for having her in our lives.
In these pictures, she is laughing and playing with Isaac. I am amazed by how perfectly they tend to compliment each other. Isaac and Camille are only 15 months apart in age and tend to be inseparable like twins. God knew that Camille was the perfect little sister for Isaac when he placed her in our family. I am just so thankful that God has not only my best interests but also those of my kids at heart. I am in complete awe of how much He loves us, and how His ways are perfect. Camille is an ideal example of His love!

Adoption Update!

For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you

when I was made in the secret place.

When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.

All the days ordained for me were written in your book

before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!

How vast is the sum of them!

Psalm 139:13-17

God is so good! It is so comforting to know that as much as I love each of my kids, God loves them more. He has them in His hands from the moment they are conceived, until they join Him in heaven someday. Amazing love! With a God like this in control, I don't need to worry.

With that said, many of you know our home study was supposed to be finished on Aug.22nd. I spoke with our social worker this week, and she informed me it has yet to be STARTED. She had some emergencies come up, and ours is the next one she will do. I was frustrated to say the least! I am often reminded that my timing is not always God's timing, and His timing is perfect. I am confident that when the child he has planned for our family is ready to join us, our paperwork will be ready as well! He loves that child already, more than I ever could, and He will not let paperwork stand in the way of His plans! We have also found that even though it may seem a county adoption is like a bureaucratic machine; God works in and through this "machine" to do His own will!

So, we continue to wait expectantly!