Joseph and the CA Budget Crisis!

Joseph fell asleep in his high chair tonight while we were all eating dinner! I guess cantaloupe and chicken just isn't exciting enough for him!


Although Joseph's adoption is moving along as expected, there have been some curves in the road! We requested a new adoption worker for him after a less than professional experience with the worker he had been assigned. I met with her supervisor; she was very kind, and I felt that she really listened to what I had to say. She said she would assign a new worker after his hearing to terminate his birth parents parental rights(which was at the end of last month). His original worker represented him at the hearing, and the court decided to terminate parental rights, as well as, grant us the power to make educational decisions for Joseph prior to the adoption finalization. This seemed strange at first given he was only 10 months old at the time of the hearing, but I think it has more to do with requesting resources and services for him if the need arises. (He has a follow-up developmental assessment in August.) So, everything was moving along. However, due to the California budget crisis, 1/3 of all the staff in adoptions will be laid off or reassigned. This means that he will be assigned a new adoption worker at some point, but we don't know when. Until that time the supervisor has taken on his case, which I am happy with. She is very pleasant to work with. Unfortunately, our homestudy worker is being reassigned to another dept., so we will be assigned a new one. I am very sad about this because our homestudy worker has been very supportive throughout our whole process, and we will miss her! All homestudies are now on hold while the department re-organizes. Luckily, our homestudy was finished prior to placement! I asked if this would affect our finalization time frame, and nobody knows for sure. I would think that the county would want to get the adoptions that are close to finalization finished and off the case load, but this is the government...so who knows! God has all of this under control!

Joseph Update!

I realize it has been too long since I have updated this blog! It isn't that I have had nothing to say, I have simply not known what to share. For the first time since starting our adoption/foster care process we have had trouble with a social worker. I will not be able to share the details here until everything has been resolved, but I have filed a formal complaint against Joseph's adoption worker(not our home study worker).This will not affect his adoption proceeding forward(or shouldn't!) and we will be granted a new worker for Joseph after an upcoming meeting with the supervisor.

This has been very stressful for me, and something I have definitely spent a lot of time in prayer about. As an pre-adoptive family, like in the case of Joseph, I do not want to do anything that rocks the boat, or causes the social workers to have any reason not to like our family. We really want to fly under the radar of the system, jumping through the necessary hoops and as smoothly and quickly as possible adopt our kids. So, to file a complaint against his worker goes against what feels safe in this situation. However, the worker's actions have left us with no other course of action. So, please pray specifically that the supervisor hears what I have to say in the way I intend it; that we will indeed be granted a new worker, who will not be put off by our action toward the past worker; and that Joseph's parental rights termination hearing which is scheduled for the end of the month will go forward as planned. I know God is BIG, and that ALL of this is in his hands! I also see that God has asked me to step out in faith more lately, and he continues to prove himself faithful to me.


So, here are some cute pictures of Joseph I took the other night! He now has two teeth! He also is crawling, up on his hands and knees, not the army man crawl anymore! Joseph is also pulling to standing at, but not yet cruising the furniture. So Cute!

I thought this was soooo cute, Joseph fell asleep curled up next to Brian. I had to take some pictures!

PS. I am sorry about the crazy picture location. I was having trouble getting them to line up the way I wanted them!

SCARED by Tom Davis

There is a new book coming out by Tom Davis, it looks like a must read!

Scared - A Novel on the Edge of the World from Children's HopeChest on Vimeo.

Reece's Rainbow

"Once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act" Proverbs 24:12

I read this Bible verse for the first time about a month ago(At least I don't remember reading it before!). I cannot get it out of my head. I don't want to be held accountable to act because of the things I know. I want to be able to pretend things are fine, and people aren't hurting. I think this verse also buts up against the apathy that seems to be my natural tendency. It is easier to close my eyes to the hardships around me than it is to respond with action. But God is so good about calling us to look beyond ourselves and our comfort and see what He sees. I've been reading James for my quiet time in the morning, and I am reminded that my faith is worthless without action. (This would be a good time to listen to Screen Door by Rich Mullins on the playlist to your left!) So, I guess my plan is to try to see the opportunities God puts before me and pray about the action I should take in response to what I see. Easier said than done, I know!

Here is an example of God touching my heart and the action I have chosen. I recently read a blog with a link to Reece's Rainbow: http://www.reecesrainbow.org/ . This is an organization that aids the international adoption of children with Down Syndrome. They have also begun to help kids with other special needs from around the world find forever families. I don't really know a lot about Reece's Rainbow, so if your heart leans towards these beautiful kids, please do your research! However, as I read over the profiles of the kids who are waiting, and looked at their pictures...I was humbled. God loves these kids and I do believe that His heart is that each child would grow up with loving parents and a family. I have to think that special needs kids have special families waiting for them. So, even though my heart was deeply touched by these kids, another adoption is not in our near future(other than Joseph's finalization, of course!) However, I do want to share these kids and Reece's Rainbow with other people, so naturally it is on my blog. I hope if you read this, you will take the time to check out their website. Who knows, maybe God will break your heart for these kids also!

Changes!

Well, the bad economy has finally hit home! Brian lost his job this week. He was the vice president of land development for a local home builder. So, we knew it was a possibility but we were hoping to hold on until things turned around. It is good to know during times like these that God promises to take care of us!

How do you make decisions during times when so many things tend to be up in the air? We pray! God was leading us into some very specific things, and we don't feel His directions have changed. So, we are moving forward with Brian's mission trip to Kenya, Aidan's mission trip to the Dominican Republic and our decision to home school in the fall. All of these things feel like a bigger step of faith than they did a week ago!! I just know that although things are hard for many of us here in the U.S., things are much harder for those Brian and Aidan want to serve. We are also excited to see how God is going to provide for these trips, and who will be blessed for supporting what God is doing around the world!

I am also still very excited to begin the journey of home schooling this fall. I have been reading everything I can get my hands on(currently 'The Teenage Liberation Handbook', a dangerous choice for sure!), and researching curriculum choices online. I have also begun going to the home school co-op meetings at my church. I am amazed at the diversity of families who are walking this road together. So, even though I am not sure where Brian will be working, or if we will be relocating, I am sure I want to invest in the kids by schooling them at home.

So, many things in our lives are in a state of change right now, but God never changes. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever!! A Bible verse that has been on my mind lately is: "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27

AIDS in my Region!

How do you find information on a subject that nobody want to talk about? Add to that laws that are in place to protect people from discrimination(which are good, by the way), and you come up with almost nothing. I have been hearing about the AIDS pandemic and my heart is broken. As a family we are praying for the children and families affected, and what our response will be. I also began to wonder how AIDS is affecting my own region, and whether there are kids in the foster care system with AIDS that are available for adoption. I am not seeking profiles of specific children, I am just wondering if they exist. My research has led to dead ends, and statistics about HIV/AIDS being on the rise here where I live. There must be a need Christians to make a difference here also, but where and with who?

My conclusion, we as a people are still extremely uncomfortable with acknowledging the presence of HIV/AIDS in our own communities. This is sad, I thought we were moving past this. It must be easier at some level to accept the global pandemic as occurring far from home, and the majority of cases are, but there are still people here in the communities in which we already live who are struggling with the reality of AIDS in their own lives.

I want to think and act both globally and locally!

Adoption Update, Home Schooling & Kenya!!

It has been a while since I have had the chance to update this blog. Our hard drive crashed a month or so ago, and we have been without a computer. It was eye opening to realize how much I use my computer during the day! So, now everything is fixed, and I have some BIG updates!!

First, Baby J. had his hearing to determine the status of the reunification services being offered to his birth mom. The court decided to end services, make adoption his permanency plan and move him from the Family Reunification Dept. into Adoptions. This was the news we were hoping to hear. So, the next step in the process is for the courts to remove parental rights from the birth parent, which allows us to move forward with the petition to adopt him. From this point forward the process is fairly straight forward, with little opportunity for involvement by the birth parents. (They are allowed to appeal the process, but that is limited.) So, we stand at another crossroad which is so familiar to adoptive families. Every decision has two (or three) sides to it. For each decision that lands in our favor, there is a birth family that is losing the opportunity to know this really great kid. Yes, I know their decisions have brought them to the place they are in now, but my heart breaks for them just the same. They are in my prayers.

Second, this probably deserves its own blog entry, and I will come back to this in more detail soon, but... I have decided to homeschool Elise and Isaac in the fall. I also plan to homeschool Camille and Baby J. when they are ready. For those of you who know me, you know that this is HUGE! It is definitely a decision that has been bathed in prayer and a long time in coming. I am totally excited and will post more about it later!

Lastly, Brian is going to KENYA!!! He has been praying about our families' involvement in Kenya for a while now, and God has provided an opportunity for him to go on a short term mission this summer. In fact, this January our pastor announced that our church, in connection with Compassion International will be stepping up their involvement in Kenya, and a couple of other countries(I will let you know more as I know more). In fact, he has been gone with his family to visit Kenya and the other locations during the last few weeks. It is just so exciting to see how God puts everything together. Brian's heart for Kenya, our churches increased involvement there, and the opportunity to go serve. God is good!! So, please pray for us as we prepare for Brian to go, raise money during a recession, and continue to walk the path God has laid out for us. Our desire is to live a life of obedience to Jesus, regardless of the cost or consequence. When I told my parents Brian was going to Kenya the first thing my dad asked was, "Is it safe?" I love my parents, and they are Christians who love Jesus but they missed the point. Please watch the Francis Chan video. It is short, but clearly illustrates this point!

Adoption Update(Finally)!!

Our computer crashed a couple of weeks ago, so I haven't been able to update the blog. So, here is the latest update on the adoption of Baby J. His court hearing was continued until the 26th of this month because not all the paperwork was completed by his social worker in time for the hearing. Now I realize these are very over-worked and underpaid people, but when my sons permanency is put on hold because someone simply didn't do their job...that really drives me crazy! I am thankful that the hearing was continued relatively soon, only a couple of weeks. Please pray that the next hearing will actually be heard, and progress can be made!

No More Candyland!!!

I remember it like it was yesterday... I carried the tattered box out to the garbage and threw it in. I thought I was done with Candyland forever, or at least until I had grand kids! I was totally relieved, I really don't like Candyland(or Chutes and Ladders). But that was before Isaac, Camille and Baby J. came along.

So, this afternoon the UPS delivery truck showed up, and a box was left on my doorstep. Inside that box was Candyland! I had completely forgotten about ordering it with reward points right before Christmas. It must have been a moment of weakness, when I thought a childhood isn't really complete without playing Candyland! So, tonight the kids gathered around the coffee table for a rousing game, and had a great time. Elise wanted to teach the little ones how to play, so I was off the hook! I tried not to act relieved!

Adoption and Reunification

It has been a while since I have blogged specifically about adoption. I think in my regular, day-to-day life I forget that we are in the process of adopting Baby J. I feel that he is already mine, and maybe I prefer to think of him that way, instead of in process. However, his birth mom has a hearing next week that should decide whether or not to continue offering her reunification services. As this date approaches, I am divided. Of course my heart is hoping for her services to be terminated and for us to be one step closer to officially adopting Baby J. But, there is the side of me that understands the weight of each hearing, and the loss involved both for Baby J. and his birth mom. I continue to pray for each of my kids' birth parents, and I truly hope for the best for each of them. I know the best thing for any of them is that they would meet and fall in love with Jesus. That is my main prayer for them! So, today as I think about adoption, I am hesitantly excited, anxiously hopeful, and obediently prayerful. Does that make sense?

1000 Books?

OK, here it is... The Kesler Family 1000 Book Challenge!!

As a family we read a lot. So, there isn't really a need to encourage reading or literacy around here. However, I wanted to come up with something to reward the kids for the great job they are already doing and reinforce something we think is invaluable...reading. So I came up with the idea for the Kesler Family 1000 Book Challenge.

The idea is simple, we will log each book read by every family member and celebrate at 100 book intervals until we reach 1000. When we reach 1000 books we will do something extra special as a family! This is not about getting bogged down in a bunch of rules (as I explained to my oldest son), but about having fun! We will count any book, read by anyone or to anyone in the family, including books on tape we listen to in the car. The books can be read more than once(we do have 4 & 3 year olds in the house!), and toddler board books also count. I used an old, half used notebook to make a log, and included date, title of book, read by, and audience columns. Yesterday was our first day logging books, and we wrote down ten books, which is less than usual, maybe because we didn't read to the little ones before bed last night! I expect this to take a little while, but that is OK. I also want to have the family vote on the reward at the end. We aren't in a rush, so we have time to come up with something fun!!

Another thing our family has done, but we are out of the habit lately, is that the older kids each read a book to their younger buddy every day. We learned about the buddy system from the Duggars on TV. We use it loosely, but it has been a great help! So, we are back in the "read to your buddy" mode, which has been great for providing one more way to build a close relationship between siblings!

My son...the orphan!

My son is an orphan. That seems like an almost impossible statement, but it is true. In the past, when I have thought about orphans they have lived on the other side of the world, not in my own home. However, our newest son(what we consider him) is technically an orphan. I have never really considered my own kids orphans. Even during the time before they officially joined our family. I guess it is because I feel that God has always planned for them to be part of my family, and they haven't had to wait long. However, that doesn't change the fact that until our adoption finalizes(hopefully later in 2009) he is an orphan. As I look at him, I am so thankful that God has brought him home to us, but my heart breaks for the kids still waiting!

No, I will not abandon you as orphans—I will come to you. John 14:18

It is funny how sometimes God speaks to you through a verse in a new and exciting way, even though you have read it many times before. This happened to me with this verse recently. I have been thinking about what it might feel like to be left as an orphan. How alone, desperate, helpless and hopeless that feeling must be. Add to that being sick, deathly sick, and hungry. It is almost unbearable for me to even let my thoughts wander to that place. Yet, that is the reality for so many of the worlds orphans. How fortunate I am not to have to live the life of an orphan. In the true physical sense, or in a spiritual sense. How good God is! His promise to us is real. I will not abandon you as orphans. THANK YOU JESUS!! How can I be Jesus to these kids...show them they will not be abandoned any longer as orphans...bring Jesus to them? (Obviously this does not include me adopting all of them, so I need to pray about otherways to be involved!)

Risk?

So, earlier this week I was talking with someone about the baby, and I mentioned he is the riskiest placement of all our kids. After I said this, it didn't sit well in my spirit. In fact, I haven't been able to get it off my mind. I understand that according to the view of the world, this is a riskier placement than our other children we have adopted. But my perspective is not supposed to be that OF THE WORLD! We (my husband and I) prayed a lot before pursuing an adoption of our fifth child, and we have sought God's leading every step of the way. I feel confident that God is leading us down this road of adoption. That being said, I know He is with us on our journey. So, does God leading you down a particular path guarantee it will be easy or go the way you want it to go? I don't think that is what the Bible says. It is wrong to assume that because God is in your life, or leading you in a particular direction that everything will be perfect, and turn out the way you expect it to. I think we should be praying for the situations in our life to go according to God's plan. Sometimes that will be a hard road for us to walk, but He promises to walk with us, to carry our burdens and to comfort us. I do want the baby to be our son forever, but if that isn't God's will I know He will be with us through our grief(I do not take this lightly). None of us are guaranteed another day with our children, we need to hold them with an open hand, knowing the true hands that hold them are our heavenly fathers'. I know God loves our baby and has the best plan for him in mind. I am praying that I get to be part of that plan for a long time. So, is it risky to walk in faith and do what you believe God is calling you to do even though it may not turn out the way you would prefer? I don't think so. It sounds like a cliche', but I do think it would be riskier to choose to ignore God's leading and go my own way. Maybe it isn't a question of risk, but of obedience. Am I willing to walk in obedience even the road may hold heartbreak? I pray that my answer will always be YES!


All of that being said, I feel that I must make it clear why we have chosen not to share our newest sons name on the blog yet. We have decided to wait until his court date that will terminate the services being offered to his birth mother. It is at this point that his permanency plan will be adoption, and we will begin to move forward with our part of the process. So, until then, we will keep you guessing!

He's Home!

It has been such a busy, crazy, chaotic week! We met the baby on Wednesday, and brought him home on Friday. He is such a wonderful baby, and I feel so blessed that God would have him be my son.
The other kids were so excited to see him, that when we got home they were almost unable to contain themselves. It is fun to watch the kids welcome him so quickly and completely into our home and family. Elise had to give him his first bottle, and the little ones keep asking to hold him. We will be working to set boundaries for the babies safety and sanity! Tonight Aidan picked the place on the couch next to where the baby was sleeping. It was sweet to see him talk to the baby and give him a pacifier when he started fussing. I am so happy there hasn't been any jealousy, so far, only total excitement!
Soon, I will post some pictures and write more about how God is continuing to amaze me! Now, however, I am tired and will be headed to bed for some sleep(at least until bottle time)!

It's a Boy!!

So, we said YES! We will have a one hour visit with the baby on Wednesday, and if everything goes well we will bring him home on Friday!! It is hard to wait so long to meet him, but our social workers are out of the office until then! I gotta go... there's so much to get done before he comes home!!

We Got A Call!!

Yeah! Today, we got a call about a little boy to consider for placement. He was born in mid August, which makes him almost three months old! We are so excited! We will meet with his placement worker and our home study worker for what is called a disclosure meeting. At this time all known information about him and his birth parents will be disclosed to us. Then, we will make a final decision about whether or not to accept placement.
God is so funny! I got the call in the middle of my fasting and prayer time, which can only be a God thing. However, we still need prayer in the decision making process. We don't want to enter into parenting any child lightly, but instead we want to go forward in prayer with God's leading! I know what my heart says, but I want to hear God's voice and obey him in all things. If this is the child He has for us, please pray we will know it, and if he isn't, that we would know that too!
This is also exciting because it is less than a month since our home study was approved. I am so impatient, but God is always gracious to me!
I'll Keep you posted!

Pastor Straton and Fasting!

After reading "Red Letters" by Tom Davis, I have been thinking about the suggestion made in the book to fast and pray for those suffering from AIDS. I have been thinking about it, but I haven't really done anything. Today, I picked up the book and as I was thumbing through it came across the section on fasting again. I was convicted about my lack of motivation to pray! Then, I came across this video. I hope you will take the time to watch it. I found it encouraging. I will fast and pray, once a week until I feel God lead me to do otherwise. Mondays will be my regular day for this, but I feel led to commit tomorrow to the Lord! I also want to find out what is going on in my area for those affected with AIDS. I don't hear about it in the news anymore, but I know that people and families are still affected. Is there something local I can do to help those here in my community? I will do some research and see what I come up with!

Please turn off the music before watching the video!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0SUJOcRU-_w

In the video, Pastor Straton talks about the kids who are left not only orphaned, but also HIV+. This is heart breaking, to say the least. The doors are opening for some of these kids to be adopted, and brought here to the US. Please consider this for your own family, or you can help fund the adoption of an HIV+ child into another loving, forever family. At least, pray about how God might use you, and let Him surprise you with the answer!!

Trans Racial Adoption Support Group!

Last night our family attended a trans racial adoption support group. The subject of the meeting was "How to Navigate the African American Community as a Non-African American Family". This was our first time at this group. It was a very interesting time! It is always fun to be in such a diverse group of people, who all share a passion for kids and adoption, particularly trans racial adoption. We discussed our experiences as multi ethnic families, and discussed ways to help our kids create genuine relationships with people who share their racial heritage. Many topics were discussed including: school choice(diversity and academics as key points), mentoring opportunities(black fraternities and sororities as resources), social groups, travel, and local events(BlackEXPO, etc.) Many of the things we discussed were part of our foster parent training and other workshops and classes we have taken. However, one thing that I had never given much thought to are the black colleges. Living in California we do not have any black colleges. However, there are tours for highschool students that will take them to visit several black colleges when they are ready for that. It is something I know nothing about, but plan on looking into before my kids are ready for that. Since the kids are only 2 and 4, I have a little time. I also realized how great it is to live in a diverse neighborhood with excellent schools nearby. Many in the group had to leave their neighborhoods to find diversity.

One thing that stood out for me during the conversations was that I really do enjoy being with people who are nothing like me. It is good to hear another perspective, even if we don't agree or see things the same way! I feel enriched as a person when I spend time in dialogue with people who are open, genuine and passionate about their kids!

Fall Family Fair

Yesterday, my husband and I went to the Fall Family Fair. It is a cooperative effort of local county agencies and the State Department of Children's Services to match families with children waiting to be adopted from foster care. There are no children present, but social workers bring profiles of available kids/sibling groups for prospective adoptive parents to look at. We were there mainly because our social worker wanted to introduce us to two other workers in our county. One is the placement coordinator and the other is the concurrent placement worker(places many infants who are concurrently in adoptions and reunification services until court hearings decide their status). It was a blessing to be introduced to these women right after our home study was completed, and now maybe I can begin to see God's timing in things. These are the women, along with our social worker, who will decide which child to present to us. What an awesome responsibility they hold in their jobs: creating and building families!!
While we were at the fair, my husband picked up a stack of profiles to read. It was at this moment that I realized how mixed my feelings were about being at the fair. I didn't want to see the faces of these adorable kids. Once you see their profiles, look at their pictures and read their stories, they are no longer just a statistic. They become real kids-orphans- living without any sense of permanency or a forever family. I know it doesn't do any good to close my eyes to the reality that is before me, so I read some profiles and my heart was broken for these kids again. Last night I prayed for the kids I saw, the faces that are sticking in my mind even now as I write this blog. I know that prayer is the best gift I can give these kids right now, but my heart longs to do more.
After much prayer, we don't feel that God is leading us to an older child adoption right now. Sibling groups in foster care and waiting to be adopted still tug at our hearts. We were both really close with our own siblings and see how close our own kids are to each other. Our hearts still lean toward foster care in the future. Only God knows what He has in store for our family! I look forward to this journey-with God leading the way!

The "funny" things people say...

The "funny" things people say...still catch me by surprise! In a multi ethnic family, you get a lot of off the cuff comments from strangers. Most people don't intend to be hurtful or rude, they just aren't aware of the impact of their words.

Today, I took the kids to the mall to buy my daughter some pants. When we were at the register paying, the cashier asked "Are you babysitting?" I replied, "Nope, they're all mine!" and smiled at her. "Oh, they are a lot of different ages" she continued, "at least you don't have a newborn too!" I just looked at her picked up my bag and left. It isn't her naivete that annoyed me, it is the attitude that the LAST thing we need is a baby. As we walked away, the kids and I talked about how she didn't know we are waiting for a baby. That we are all excited about it, and think it is great!

It is a huge responsibility to constantly help the kids deal with the attitudes and comments from strangers. This was a very innocent example, but a good reminder about the need to help my kids learn how to respond to strangers. I always talk about the situation with the kids after it happens, so we can all learn from it. Sometimes I handle things well, but not always. I am still caught off guard sometimes. I try to talk with the kids about the person's possible motives, and better ways we could have handled things. If we did a good job, we talk about what went well.

My social worker suggested the "W.I.S.E. UP Powerbook" which is put out by The Center for Adoption Support and Education,inc. It is an awesome resource to help empower kids deal with questions and comments from strangers and friends. It has also helped me!! It is worth a look.

So, for other families dealing with this same issue, I wish you well! And for any family that I have inadvertently hurt with my own naive words...I am truly sorry.