Today, I took the kids to the mall to buy my daughter some pants. When we were at the register paying, the cashier asked "Are you babysitting?" I replied, "Nope, they're all mine!" and smiled at her. "Oh, they are a lot of different ages" she continued, "at least you don't have a newborn too!" I just looked at her picked up my bag and left. It isn't her naivete that annoyed me, it is the attitude that the LAST thing we need is a baby. As we walked away, the kids and I talked about how she didn't know we are waiting for a baby. That we are all excited about it, and think it is great!
It is a huge responsibility to constantly help the kids deal with the attitudes and comments from strangers. This was a very innocent example, but a good reminder about the need to help my kids learn how to respond to strangers. I always talk about the situation with the kids after it happens, so we can all learn from it. Sometimes I handle things well, but not always. I am still caught off guard sometimes. I try to talk with the kids about the person's possible motives, and better ways we could have handled things. If we did a good job, we talk about what went well.
My social worker suggested the "W.I.S.E. UP Powerbook" which is put out by The Center for Adoption Support and Education,inc. It is an awesome resource to help empower kids deal with questions and comments from strangers and friends. It has also helped me!! It is worth a look.
So, for other families dealing with this same issue, I wish you well! And for any family that I have inadvertently hurt with my own naive words...I am truly sorry.
1 comment:
I hope I have not said anything that was hurtful.Something I don't always think about what I say.
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