Something Heavenly

OK, now would be the time to click on the song Whatever You're Doing (Something Heavenly) by Sanctus Real on the Playlist thing. (You may have to click on another song or two in order to get it to scroll into sight.) I think it is the perfect sound track for this blog entry.

I have a new favorite song. It is Whatever You're Doing (Something Heavenly) by Sanctus Real. I am often amazed how a song can so perfectly put to words how I am feeling. This song does that for me at this point in my life. I have been feeling the stirring of the Holy Spirit, and a sense that God is doing something new in my life. To be honest, this scares me a little.

"Whatever Your Doing

Inside of Me

It Feels Like Chaos

But Somehow There's Peace

It's Hard to Surrender

To What I Can't See

But I'm giving in to

Something Heavenly"

A few weeks ago we had a guest speaker at church, who talked about letting God break your heart for the things that break His heart. He also said that sometimes we need to let God break our heart for something, and then sit in that brokenness for a while. This has been on my mind since he said those words because I want to keep from having a broken heart or feeling sorrow. Those are not emotions I tend to seek out. So, I have been asking myself why I am so reluctant to surrender my heart and emotions to God. One thing that came to mind was how overwhelming it can feel to look at the problems in this world. My heart breaks for the orphans of the AIDS pandemic, for kids languishing in foster care in America and poor single moms and families that can't make ends meet. Many of you who know Brian and I already know the people and children of Mexico hold a special place in our hearts. The problems in our world are so huge in scope and I seem so small and insignificant.

"Don't fail to do something, just because you can't do everything." Bob Pierce

This quote was in the Autumn 2008 WORLD VISION magazine. My heart ached when I read this quote. Apathy is something I struggle with. I have accepted the idea that because I can't do everything, or something BIG for God then I would do nothing. This has led to eyes that are closed and a heart that is hardened to what breaks God's heart.

" It's Time for a Milestone

Time to Begin Again

Re-evaluate

Who I Really Am

Am I Doing Everything

To Follow Your Will?

Or Just Climbing

Aimlessly Over These Hills?"

A new beginning. I think the place to begin is with prayer. I want God's heart for His people. I want to live a passionate life for him. I think in someways I have been wandering aimlessly over the hills of my life. It is time to re-evaluate some things. It is time for a milestone. I honestly don't know what that looks like right now. I am sure with prayer God will make His way clear. I will keep you posted.

Here is the video on Youtube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=In8oOMf6gBI&feature=related

**The words in Orange are from the song Whatever You're Doing (Something Heavenly) By Sanctus Real

We're Expecting!!

We are expecting! ... Well, maybe not in the traditional pregnancy sense of the word, but we are expecting just the same! We are almost finished with our home study process (awaiting word of the completion and approval by our social worker) for number five. We are all so excited to see what God is going to do, and who our new family member might be! All the kids want a boy. So, we talk often about how God really knows the right brother, sister, daughter or son to join our family! I can say I am waiting expectantly, not necessarily patiently!!
I recently stumbled across a great blog called "Urban Servant", written by another mom of a large family built by God through birth and adoption. One entry, in particular, really put into words how I feel while in the waiting period of the adoption process. So, rather that try to summarize her words, I will post the link instead!

http://urbanservant.blogspot.com/2008/08/maybe-baby-days.html

The Maybe Baby Days...exactly!

Potty Training Camille!!

This has been the first week of school for the older kids, which means it is quieter around our house. I always miss the kids when they head back to school! As the new year starts, I am praying about my role in the home and as a mom. God has really laid it on my heart to focus my time and energy on my kids and my home. This isn't to say I haven't been doing this, I just feel led to proceed with more prayer and purpose.

So, with my focus at home, I am purposefully spending less time away! This has allowed me to do something I have been putting off for a while now, potty training Camille. She has been more than ready and the slower pace of our days have created the perfect time to get this done. So here she is, proudly going on the potty. We took this picture because she went poo poo in the toilet for the first time right then! What a big girl!!!

God is so good to me. I cannot imagine spending my life on anything more important that raising our family. I am thankful that God has allowed me this privilege. I am also grateful that He has caused me to slow down and really focus on and enjoy this time of my life!

In Regards to TRANSPERANCY...

In regards to TRANSPARENCY... why it is difficult to open your eyes and really call sin what it is-SIN? Why is it that it sometimes seems easier to live with a sin than to acknowledge what it is, confess it to God and be not only forgiven but healed?
If I were to be truthful, I would have to say that I have struggled for most of my life with comparing myself to others. Lately, God has been showing me how this practice of comparison(and believe me, I have practiced this until perfect) is really sin in my life. When I compare myself with someone else, from my imperfect human perspective I never measure up. This has led me to lack confidence to reach out in His Name to those around me in need; to become apathetic about things I should be passionate about; and to doubt any calling or greater purpose in my life. As I have begun to see how far reaching the consequences of this sin has been in my life, I am saddened and want change!

If you confess your sins, He is Faithful and just and will forgive your sins and purify you from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

So, will this be the end of my struggle with comparing myself to others? I doubt it. I know that it will take time and practice to stop what seems like a habit for me. I also know that it is sin and that I am forgiven. It is a start.

Many Hands Make Light Work

Today, I had the most wonderful morning with the kids. Brian is out of town (fishing in Alaska, actually), So, it was just the five of of us. After breakfast we went out into the garden to do some clean-up work. We cleared two bed areas of okra, one squash and our bush beans, all of which were done for the season. We then prepared them for new plantings and cleaned up all the leaves and such around the beds. The kids harvested food for dinner tonight: bush beans, pole beans, a pepper and tomatoes for a salad. It was so much fun to see all the kids arms deep in the plants grabbing veggies. Even Camille, whose bowl of tomatoes was mostly green, was helping out. It was one of those amazing times as a family when everyone is happy, having fun and accomplishing something!! We talked about the phrase "many hands make light work" and how today was such a great example of this truth. God has been so good to me! I am so blessed every day, and tend to forget to stop, look around me and take stock in all God has blessed me with. Today was a day of fruition for me. When I originally started planning my garden, it was with a day like today in mind. I only wish Brian had been here to share it with us!!

The Simple Life...

The simple life... My thoughts drift toward Mayberry, or Walton's Mountain(I'm part of the TV generation). What do these shows really bring to mind? Family, church, home, hard work, fresh baked bread, and a sense of community. Lately, I have been wanting a simpler life. My plans were a place in the country, room for lots of kids to run and play, a huge garden and some chickens. Sounds a little like the Waltons, I know. God has other plans for our family right now, but I still feel he is calling me into a simpler life. I read in a blog somewhere(I have no idea where, if I find it again I will give credit where it's due) spend the limited time we have each day being productive or fruitful. This has really changed the way I evaluate the things I choose to spend my time on. It isn't about keeping myself busy, but almost the opposite. I want to be deliberate in the way I run my home, raise my kids, serve the Lord. I want to be fruitful and productive, which means I need to really be focused on the things I am doing. I cannot focus well when I am running crazily from one thing to the next and my home is not in order. So, as a new school year starts I am limiting my involvements outside my home. I will not be the Stay-at Home Mom Who is Never Home!!! My husband and I took out our grass in the backyard and replaced it with raised beds for gardening. I am not re-enrolling in MOPS, even though it is good, it isn't best for our family right now. I want more time to be at home with the little ones; they need a simpler life also. And yes, I've been working on my bread baking skills(this is really an art!) and we are thinking of building a brick oven in the backyard. I still plan on attending a women's Bible study, and serving at AWANA because these are productive, fruitful times for myself and the kids(and we LOVE them!!). The simple life, for me, is to love my husband, spend time with my family, do the hard work of running a home, serve the Lord at church, and do it all with a glad heart and in His name.

My First Blog Post!

So, why have I decided to start a blog? That is a really great question, with a funny answer. I am not sure why I have decided to do this. I do love to read other peoples' blogs (I am also an avid reader of memoirs!). I find people very interesting, and I enjoy learning about others' lives. I guess I have never really considered myself or my own life very interesting to other people. So, I haven't considered a blog of my own. Until now. I was praying and felt prompted by the Lord to be more transparent, and open with others. This has been on my heart for a few weeks now, TRANSPARENCY. Then somehow, here I am... with a blog to share who I am with anyone who chooses to read it. I hope something here will bless those who read it. I know that putting my journey into words, reflecting on and expressing what God's doing in my life will be a HUGE blessing to me!